2000 UAW Daimler Chrysler 400 Fantasy Edition

2000 Season Fantasy Edition (UAW Daimler/Chrysler 400 @ Las Vegas Motor Speedway, March 5th, 2000) Edit

Notes Edit

  • Curse-words will be censored out by *bleep*s.

Car Numbers, Sponsors, Manufacturers, and Drivers Edit

  1. 1 Pennzoil Chevrolet (Jimmy Neutron)
  2. 2 Miller Lite Ford (Rudy Tabootie)
  3. 3 GM Goodwrench Chevrolet (Eddy "The Intimidator" McRich)
  4. 4 Kodak Chevrolet (Remy Buxaplenty)
  5. 5 Kelloggs Corn Flakes Chevrolet (Imaginary Gary)
  6. 6 Valvoline Ford (Professor Finbarr Calamitous)
  7. 7 PHILLIPS Nation's Rent Chevrolet (Wanda)
  8. 8 Budweiser Chevrolet (Homer Simpson)
  9. 9 Kodiak Ford (Mojo Jojo)
  10. 10 Aaron's Pontiac (Jimmy from "Ed, Edd n Eddy")
  11. 12 Mobil 1 Ford (Snap White)
  12. 14 Conseco Pontiac (Nelson Muntz)
  13. 16 TV Guide Ford (Buttercup Simpson)
  14. 17 DEWALT Power Tools Ford (Evil Jimmy Clone)
  15. 18 Interstate Batteries Pontiac (Ed"Lumpy" Monobrow)
  16. 19 MOTOROLA Ford (Eduardo)
  17. 20 Home Depot Pontiac (Eddward "Double-D" Marion)
  18. 21 CITGO Ford (Princess Morbucks)
  19. 22 CATERPILLAR Pontiac (Sandy Cheeks)
  20. 24 DUPONT Chevrolet (Timmy Turner)
  21. 25 Michael Holigan Chevrolet (Trixie Tang)
  22. 26 KMART Ford (Bubble Bass from "Spongebob Squarepants")
  23. 28 TEXACO Havoline Ford (Sheldon J. Plankton)
  24. 31 LOWE'S Chevrolet (Blooreguard Q. "Bloo" Kazoo)
  25. 32 Tide Ford (Blossom Neutron)
  26. 33 Oakwood Homes Chevrolet (Mac Kazoo)
  27. 36 M&Ms Pontiac (Spongebob Squarepants)
  28. 40 Coors Light Chevrolet (Bart Simpson)
  29. 42 Bellsouth Chevrolet (Cindy Vortex)
  30. 43 STP Pontiac (Bubbles Turner)
  31. 44 Hot Wheels Pontiac (Kevin Shovelchin)
  32. 45 Spree/Sprint Chevrolet (Sheen Estevez)
  33. 55 Square-D Chevrolet (Stanley S. Squarepants)
  34. 60 Power Team Chevrolet (Francis Bull-E)
  35. 66 Route 66 KMART Ford (Fuzzy Lumpkins)
  36. 71 Real Tree Chevrolet (Cosmo)
  37. 75 Redcell Ford (Patrick Star)
  38. 77 JASPER Ford (Rolf)
  39. 88 Quality Care Ford (Lisa Simpson)
  40. 93 Amoco Pontiac (Evil Officer Mike Brikowski)
  41. 94 McDonald's Ford (Squidward Tentacles)
  42. 97 John Deere Ford (Penny Sanchez)
  43. 99 EXIDE Batteries Ford (Denzel Crocker)

Race Winner Edit

  • 22 CATERPILLAR Pontiac (Sandy Cheeks)

Number Of Laps Edit

  • 267

Number Of Cautions Edit

  • 11

Quotes Edit

Quote 1 Edit

  • (wiki-special opens inside a fancy buffet restaurant in Las Vegas, Nevada, near the the Las Vegas Motor Speedway, on a late rainy night which was the night prior to the UAW Daimler/Chrysler 400 with Bubbles and Timmy being the only customers in the fancy restaurant)
  • *Timmy and Bubbles enter their seats and take their drink orders at the same time*
  • Timmy: *comfortable sigh* I love to spend a late dinner with you, Bubs, especially at this fancy buffet.
  • Bubbles (cutely): A dinner this special isn't complete without YOU, Timmy Bear. *giggles*
  • (Bubbles' watch is shown with the time just striking 12:00 am)
  • Bubbles: *looks at her watch* Uh, Timmy? W-why are we eating this late?
  • Timmy: Why, Bubs? First, there was never enough time to grab a bite to eat at the Las Vegas Motor Speedway concession stands due to thousands of possibly soaking wet racefans flooding the lines trying to get food, second I wanted to treat you to a private romantic dinner, and third, the reason why I chose to eat here after midnight is because 1, the owner of this place is my cousin Anthony, and 2, Cousin Anthony kept the place open for us and let us eat late after all the racefans and other patrons went home or back to the track with full stomachs.
  • Bubbles: Usually dad (referring to Professor Utonium) never let me and the girls eat late like this, but we're on our own! Besides, if anyone's making good decisions, I'm glad it's you, Timmy Bear.
  • Timmy: Awww, that's so flattering, Bubsy.
  • Bubbles: *giggles and blushes* *scene fades to them eating*
  • Timmy (after gulping down his steak): So um, Bubbles. Do you remember this photo? *shows Bubbles a photo of the time Timmy and Bubbles (on Timmy's lap) were sharing coconut milk during their honeymoon in Barbados* Our first honeymoon together?
  • Bubbles: *cute gasp*: Oh my gosh! How COULD I forget such a memory?! you even wore the cutest shirt!!!! *giggles*
  • Timmy: And you looked sexy in that photo too, Bubs. Especially that time we were drinking those fancy drinks in that hot tub spa.
  • Bubbles (while blushing): And I remember having your arm around me that whole time in that spa. *giggles*
  • Timmy: That honeymoon in my opinion was the best honeymoon ever! Do you think, Bubs?
  • Bubbles: I think the same, Timmykins. *giggles* Timmy?
  • Timmy: Yes, Bubs?
  • Bubbles: Would it be cute and fun if we had a NASCAR race on the beach? It would be so fun and exciting!
  • Timmy: (in a chuckling way) Yeah, and humiliate Crocker and the stupid REXCOR drivers there. *laughs* And it should be an off-road race.
  • Bubbles: With the big ramps, too?
  • Timmy: Oh yeah, Bubs. And the best part, they allow us to intentionally wreck REXCOR drivers. Wow, what fun would that be, Bubsy?
  • Bubbles (in a giggling way): You come up with the cutest and funniest ideas, Timmy.
  • Timmy: Imagine if we did race on the beach, Bubs. Just imagine how fun it would be.
  • Bubbles (dreamly): If we did, it'd almost be like a dream that wasn't a dream. *scene fades into Bubbles' dream taking place at Timmy & Bubbles' Beach Course (spoof of Koopa Troopa Beach from Mario Kart 64) with NASCAR in it, then cuts to Bob Jenkins and Benny Parsons wearing Hawaiian clothes*
  • ("Koopa Troopa Beach" Theme from "Mario Kart 64" plays in the background)
  • Bob Jenkins (ESPN / dressed in Hawaiian clothes): It's been a beautiful and gorgeous day here in Timmy & Bubbles' beach course (spoof of Koopa Troopa Beach in Mario Kart 64) as we just got underway and already they're putting on a really good contest! *scene cuts to the beach track*
  • Sandy (in 1st): (in mid-air after going up a ramp) WHOO-HOO!!!! *lands on the ground* Boy howdy! What a jump! What a course for a race! And they don't call me "Sandy" for nothin'! YEE-HAW!!!!
  • Bart (in 2nd): (in unison to Sandy's quote "YEE-HAW!!!!" / right after he landed on the ground) Cowabunga, dude! Eat my shorts, REXCOR!
  • Ed (in 4th / voice only): Slide on the soap!
  • Eddy (in 24th): It's sand, Lummox! Will you ever smarten up, Lumpy?!
  • Edd (in 3rd / having fun): I feel it!!!! I feel the tropical adrenaline baby!!!!! Though I would feel much better racing on a more serious track! Wouldn't you agree, Penny?
  • Penny (in 5th): I respect your opinion, Edd! I'm having a splendid time racing here! WHOO! *scene cuts to Timmy and Crocker on the frontstretch, then to Crocker's cockpit*
  • Crocker (in 7th / going too low in the tide area as seen in the Koopa Troopa Beach / about to pass Timmy): I got you right here, Turner! Once I pass you in this "shortcut", I will hunt down your stupid--. *a wave of water suddenly crashes on Crocker, slowing him down and slipping him back to the mid-20 positions* *screams as the water splashes him, and then growls once the water was gone* *scene cuts to Timmy's cockpit*
  • Timmy (in 6th / happily but sarcastically): Awww... I did I splash you, Crockpot? Or was the tide too high for ya? *laughs*
  • Crocker (in 25th / voice only): *growls* YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS TURNER!!!! *scene cuts to Remy Buxaplenty spinning into the waterfall (as seen in Koopa Troopa Beach in "Mario Kart 64") sending him into last place (43rd)*
  • Remy (in 11th): *screams as he spins into the waterfall* *growls* *scene cuts to a view of the cars passing by him*
  • Cindy (in 12th sarcastically): Awww... look! Remy's fell in the water! How do you like that, Spongebob?! *laughs*
  • Spongebob (in 14th / happily): Maybe we should call him "Drenchy'! *laughs* *scene cuts to Remy's cockpit*
  • Remy (now in last place): *growls as he pulls the cars out of the water and goes on* I hate these fu--*bleep*--ing beach courses! *scene cuts to Bubbles' cockpit*
  • Bubbles (in 8th): I'm having so much fun Timmy!!!! *scene cuts to Bubbles' car* I'm having the time of my life!!!! WHOO-HOO!!!!
  • Timmy (in 6th / voice only): It couldn't get any more fun than this! *laughs gleefully*
  • Spongebob (in 14th / voice only): Yeah, and more fun than double-overtime at the Krusty Krab!!!! *scene fades back to Bubbles at the restaurant*
  • Bubbles: Awww.... I wish that would happen someday.
  • Timmy: Me, too Bubs. *eats another bite of his food* *scene then fades into the Las Vegas Motor Speedway in the morning, then to Bart and Buttercup's hauler while Buttercup was cooking breakfast with Bart at the table*

Quote 2 Edit

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Quote 4 Edit

  • ("ESPN Speedworld Theme" plays)
  • Bob Jenkins (ESPN): The NASCAR Winston Cup Series "rolls snake-eyes" today here in Las Vegas, Nevada as we get set to run the UAW/Daimler Chrysler 400 from the Las Vegas Motor Speedway! Las Vegas Motor Speedway is one of the trickiest oval on the schedule, and one mishap in these corners could lead that driver into bad luck. Who will have the good luck to "hit the jackpot" today in Las Vegas? We'll find out after 267 laps in today's race. Hello everyone, I'm Bob Jenkins, alongside former NASCAR champion and race analyst, Benny Parsons. BP, ever since this track opened in 1998, this track now has become one of the most unique tracks on the schedule.
  • Benny Parsons (ESPN): Trust me, Bob, this track can really be tough when it comes to car handling. This is a type of racetrack that you MUST NOT slip up the racetrack. Once you get into the "marbles" in these turns, your car might as well lose the correct handling and possibly hit the wall. We might as well see a lot of that in today's race, Bob.
  • Bob Jenkins (ESPN): After his win in Phoenix, Arizona last week (in reference to the "2000 Lard Lad Donuts 500 Fantasy Edition" wiki), Eddward Marion looks to add to his NASCAR Winston Cup Series resume with a win here in Las Vegas, but to do it from the 26th position, "Lady Luck" might need to help Eddward out.
  • Benny Parsons (ESPN): Indeed, Bob. Eddward Marion is always consistent when it comes to motorsports. Eddward said on his interview in our pre-race show that it would take a lot of car handling and a lot of grip on the steering wheel in order to take these tough corners here in Las Vegas. Marion even said that one steering mistake in the middle of these tricky corners could lead the car into a spin into the wall or against another car. With Eddward's intelligence, confidence, consistency, and words of wisdom, he might as well "hit the jackpot" today here in Las Vegas, Nevada.
  • Bob Jenkins (ESPN): Will "Lady Luck" pay off today for Eddward Marion from the 26th position? We'll find out in 267 laps. The drivers are ready, the fans are ready, and WE'RE ready for the start of the UAW Daimler Chrysler 400! Let's go trackside for the command!
  • Track P.A Announcer: And now for the most famous words in all of motorsports, please welcome your grand marshal, WWE Superstar, Ted "The Million Dollar Man" DiBiase! *crowd cheers loudly*
  • Ted "The Million Dollar Man" DiBiase: Gentlemen, start your engines! *crowd cheers EXTREMELY loudly*
  • [engines start and rev loudly, in unison to the HYSTERICALLY cheering crowd]

Quote 5 Edit

  • Bob Jenkins (ESPN / in unison to the HYSTERICALLY cheering crowd): We are just about set to go here in the UAW/Daimler Chrysler 400 *crowd cheers louder as the pace-car pulls into the pits* as the pace-car heads for pit-road! Glad you're with us on ESPN as Ed Monobrow and Wanda Godparent lead the field down to the start/finish line here in Las Vegas... *cars accelerate to take the green flag waved by Mr. Krabs, in unison to the HYSTERICALLY cheering crowd* ... and now Eugene Krabs will wave the green flag! We're underway in the UAW/Daimler Chrysler 400!
  • Barney Hall (MRN Radio): They come down to the line, green flag goes in the air and the UAW/Daimler Chrysler 400 is underway. Good start for Ed Monobrow. He gets out front all by himself. Wanda Godparent runs single-file also as they hit Turn #1.
  • Joe Moore (MRN Radio): Side-by-side for 3rd however, Cindy Vortex's down to the inside, Mike Brikowski's to the outside lane! That battle continues! Further back, Bloo Kazoo picks up some ground, and Snap White's on the move! He's trying to get by Trixie Tang!
  • Dan Hubbard (MRN Radio): Everybody floors it down the backstretch into Turn #3! It'll be Ed Monobrow in the lead by 3 car-lengths over Wanda Godparent! In 3rd is Cindy Vortex by herself, and the battle is on for 4th between Bloo Kazoo, Mike Brikowski, and Snap White!
  • Allen Bestwick (MRN Radio): Bloo Kazoo slides underneath Brikowski off Turn #4 and picks up the 4th position! Here is Snap White following to the inside! Trixie Tang "squeezes" in between Brikowski and Lisa Simpson to race there for the 6th position!
  • Joe Moore (MRN Radio): Brikowski's still stuck on the inside line! Tang's gonna scoot by on the inside and pick up the spot there! Here's Lisa Simpson, and man, they are stacked up behind her! Sheldon J. Plankton is there! Timmy Turner, Finbarr Calamitous, and Bubbles Turner are all trying to squeeze down to the inside to make their move!
  • Dan Hubbard (MRN Radio): It is double and triple file from 6th on-back! It'll be Brikowski and Simpson side-by-side! Sheldon J Plankton, Timmy Turner, and Remy Buxaplenty are also in the mix--! *in unison, Lisa slides up the racetrack, and cries out, "WHOA...!"* Oh! there's some slight contact made! Looked like Turner got into the back of Plankton, but everyone gains control off Turn #4! *scene cuts to Plankton's cockpit*
  • (on the frontstretch, frontstraighatway, in Turns 1 & 2, backstretch and backstraightaway, Turns 3 & 4, and on the frontstretch, completing Lap 3 out of 267 laps)
  • Plankton (in 7th): Hey, had a nice "slide", Lisa The Loos-ah?! What a fu--*bleep*--ing barnacle-head! *cackles evilly* *scene cuts to Lisa Simpson's cockpit*
  • Lisa (while slowly falling back in the field): That was so funny I forgot to laugh, Flankon! And plus, your foul language is too wildly frequent. 
  • Plankton (in 7th): Aw, cry me a fu--*bleep*--ing river, creetin! I watch too much HBO on Karen's screen, and me and Karen don't care if it's too much of it!
  • Karen (voice only / in Plankton's #28 car): Uh, hello?! (speaking severely to Plankton) You removed my v-chip in order to hear the words I highly disapprove of!
  • Plankton (in 7th): *groans* Who asked you?! Besides, my profane language won't cost me anything! *scene cuts to Lisa's cockpit*
  • Lisa (while slowly falling back in the field): No Plankton, Karen is RIGHT! Your profane language will get you into huge melee, and you will pay the price if you continue to run it into the ground!
  • Plankton (in 7th): *growls*
  • Karen (voice only / severely): Excuse me, don't growl at me, mister! I'm your computer wife! Or former computer wife when I leave you!
  • Plankton (in 8th): Will you shut up, Karen and let me drive for crying out loud?!
  • Karen (voice only / angrily): EXCUSE ME?! Is that how you talk to me, SHELDON?!
  • Plankton (in 7th): *groans* Not another fight again....
  • Karen (voice only / angrily): I thought so, Sheldon! *scene cuts to Timmy's cockpit*
  • Timmy Turner (in 8th / voice only): Guess somebody's in the doghouse, eh Plankton?! *scene cuts to Plankton's cockpit*
  • Plankton (in 7th): Will you shut the--
  • Karen (voice only / severely): I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT, SHELDON! LEAVE TIMMY ALONE with your vulgar mouth!
  • Plankton (in 7th): *groans and mutters underneath his breath* *scene cuts to Ed's cockpit*
  • Ed (in 1st): *laughs* Naughty naughty, Sheldon! You watch yourself, mister! Or your naughty language will get you like a virus gets your computer wife! *scene cuts to Timmy's cockpit*
  • Timmy (in 8th): *laughs* Good one, Ed!
  • Plankton (in 7th / voice only): (in unison): AAAUUGGHH!!! *scene cuts to Lisa's cockpit*
  • Lisa (while slowly falling back in the field): Alright guys, no more fooling around. Let's keep this race as much serious and competitive against REXCOR as we can. *scene cuts to Ed's cockpit*
  • Ed (in 1st / stupidly): Does this mean no more laughs!?
  • Timmy (in 8th): *chuckles* Just continue leadin' the race. Lumpy.
  • Ed (in 1st / voice only): Lead?! Got it! *scene cuts to Lisa's cockpit*
  • Lisa (while slowly falling back in the field): Good boy, Ed. Let's get down to important business. *scene cuts to the ESPN Broadcast Booth*
  • Bob Jenkins (ESPN): Lap #3 complete as Ed Monobrow continues to show the way *scene cuts to the track* here in Las Vegas Motor Speedway in the UAW Daimler Chrysler 400, and he might have the car to beat today.
  • Benny Parsons (ESPN): Indeed, Bob. This 18 team of Team Fastex really has a good handlin' racecar today, and hopefully we will see the 18 Interstate Batteries Pontiac of Ed Monobrow in Victory Lane and become the 2nd winner of Team Fastex this season by the end of this race today.

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Quote 23 Edit

  • (Lap 253 out of 267 laps)
    • scene cuts to the ESPN Broadcast Booth*
  • Bob Jenkins (ESPN): We now have 14 laps to go here in the UAW/Daimler Chrysler 400 here at the Las Vegas Motor Speedway *scene cuts to the track* and now "Cowgirl Sandy" Cheeks has caught Sheldon J. Plankton! The question is will she pass him?!
  • Benny Parsons (ESPN): Last time by, Sandy was a little bit quicker, and we could see right now is that she's keepin' that car at that bottom of the racetrack! Plankton drifted up just a little bit, and now it's nose-to-tail with just 14 laps to go! *scene cuts to Plankton's cockpit*
  • (Turns 3 & 4, the frontstretch, frontstraightaway, and in Turns 1 & 2)
  • Plankton (in 1st, about to race side by side with Sandy): *sees Sandy looking high to get side-by-side with him* Don't you dare, Rodent-roadkill! You ain't gettin' the lead from Sheldon J. Plankton! This race belongs to REXCOR! *scene cuts to Sandy's cockpit*
  • Sandy in 2nd / side-by-side with Plankton for the lead): Hah! Over my dead body, miniscule-Cyclops! Whatta ya gonna do if ya don't win?! Scream and cuss like ya always do?! Scene cuts to Plankton's cockpit*

Quote 24 Edit

  • (Lap #266 out of 267 Laps)
    • scene cuts to the ESPN Broadcast Booth*
  • Bob Jenkins (ESPN / in unison to the LOUDLY cheering crowd cheering Sandy on): We now have 2 laps to go here in the UAW/Daimler Chrysler 400 here in Las Vegas Motor Speedway *scene cuts to the track* And Sandy Cheeks CONTINUES to run away from Sheldon J. Plankton, while battling lapped traffic!
  • Benny Parsons (ESPN / in unison to the LOUDLY cheering crowd cheering Sandy on): Man, oh man! The fans are LOVIN' this! The battle she had with Plankton really paid off, and now her #22 CATERPILLAR Pontiac is gettin' stronger and stronger as she closes in on her first career NASCAR Winston Cup Series victory and a "punched ticket" into the playoffs in time for September! (foreshadowing the "2000 Krusty Burger 400 Fantasy Edition" wiki) *scene cuts to Sandy's cockpit*
  • (in Turns 3 & 4)
  • Sandy (in 1st): Gettin' tired yet, cyclops?! *scene cuts to Plankton's cockpit*
  • Plankton (in 2nd): *pants (as he did in the "Spongebob Squarepants" episode, "Band Geeks")* You're too fast, you blasted barnacle head! *scene cuts to the track*
  • Barney Hall (MRN Radio): Down to the line, white flag's out for Sandy Cheeks. She has an advantage now maybe 10 car-lengths over Sheldon J. Plankton as they go back to Turn #1.
  • Joe Moore (MRN Radio): Plankton's doing all he can to stay up with Cheeks, but no doing! He is about 12 car-lengths behind her! Cheeks makes her way up off Turn #2 for the final time! She roars down the Nellis Straightaway with her enemy riding behind her in 2nd! *audio switches to ESPN*
  • Bob Jenkins (ESPN / in unison to the LOUDLY cheering crowd cheering Sandy on): Here comes Sandy Cheeks for the final time down the backstretch!
  • Benny Parsons (ESPN / in unison to the LOUDLY cheering crowd cheering Sandy on): Man oh man, that cowgirl is CHARGIN' those corners like a bull in a china shop! She WANTS to win this race!
  • Bob Jenkins (ESPN / in unison to the LOUDLY cheering crowd cheering for Sandy as she wins the race): Sandy Cheeks now comes off the 3rd and 4th corner, looking for the checkered flag! Sandy Cheeks is gonna "hit the jackpot" today here in Las Vegas as she wins the UAW/Daimler Chrysler 400! (in unison, Sandy cries out, "YEEE-HAWWW!!!! I DID IT Y'ALL!!!! I'M TOO TEXAS-TOUGH!!!! WHOO-HOO!!!!") An INCREDIBLE win for the Texas native, and Team Fastex now adds their 2nd team-driver into the playoffs with today's Sandy Cheeks victory here in Las Vegas!

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Trivia Edit

  • Since this is the 2000 season, the commentators on TV (ESPN) will be Bob Jenkins (now retired) & Benny Parsons (1941-2007).
  • The MRN Radio commentators for this wiki-race will be Allen Bestwick & Barney Hall (in the booth), Joe Moore (Turns 1 & 2), and Dan Hubbard (Backstretch, backstraightaway, Turn #3)
  • The TV pit reporters (ESPN) will be Bill Weber, Dr. Jerry Punch, Marty Schneider, Matt Yocum, and Wally Dallenbach.
  • The radio pit reporters (MRN Radio) will be Winston Kelley, Steve "The Postman" Post, Alex Hayden, Jason Toy, Jim Phillips, Krista Voda, Kyle Rickey, and Adam Alexander.
  • This is Karen's OFFICIAL turn on Plankton and joins Team Fastex and the light side forever.

Las Vegas Motor Speedway Edit

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